Brad, I hear you and I feel that criticism has the same outcome for an adult who loses confidence and starts to doubt their abilities. As you rightly pointed out, criticism is not bad in and of itself under two conditions: a) balance it out with more positive reinforcement for all the good things that the person does, and b) provide the corrective feedback on what is the right way to do something. The suggested ratio is usually 1:4 (for every criticism, there should be 4 or more positive praise statements).

I love how you recognize this about yourself and swear to do differently with your children. That's all we can do - change the patterns moving forward.