I am so glad your son will be ok. I know that feeling of needing an anchor and needing that partner to be present. I was alone in my marriage and now continue to be alone. I rely on friends for help but I am my own anchor. I don’t miss my ex for anything, because I never had to rely on him for anything while we were together. The weight of it all bogs me down on some days, but I pick myself up knowing I don’t have a choice.