I can relate to this A LOT, M. I have a different relationship with my mother, but one that leaves me feeling like I am not seen or heard. I am only needed when she needs me. She's 77 years now and I am trying to let go. It's tough for me to identify the good moments, but I don't want to hold anything inside. It is good that you are able to look for the little good that was there too. Hugs!