I can relate to this at so many levels. Our body stores the trauma and I realized that the deep emotion that evokes a visceral response when I am in the presence of my wasband is fear. I hope time will help with the healing. He used to bother me in my dreams and now he doesn't anymore, so that's a good sign for me.

Even as a child, I loved the idea of feeling someone next to me in bed. Some part of me needs to touch another body. I spent many nights alone being married. After the separation by 13-yr-old son came to sleep next to me and I didn't fight it. It was short-lived, but soon my dog became my solace. I don't know what I would do without him, but I am grateful for the days when I wake up next to my dog. I tell him I love him and I thank him for being there for me.

I enjoy my time on my own too and I am self-sufficient. I don't know if I would ever want to give that up, but I also like the idea of sharing life's special moments with someone; feeling safe and secure.