I could have written this piece. I feel you, I understand you. Let these emotions run through your body….allow yourself to sit with those fists clenched and open up those flood gates. It’s only natural that you are going through the different stages of grief, loss of love, loss of all that we hoped for a future. I think the key to move on is to find the positives in your post divorce life - and you said that when you talked about self-esteem and emotional well being. I too sit with the feeling that all is could have been prevented IF ONLY he did something about it….if only he fought for us.