Jen - I am in this with you. I don't think we were selfish to want the pain to stop instead of looking for a better life. Don't beat yourself up. I know it's not easy. I lose sleep over a lot of things that I don't know about the future. I wonder about the effect this will have on my kids. I think they are scarred either way, I am hoping at least I showed them that one can choose their happiness and make decisions. Who knows! Some days are tougher than others, but again - I hear ya sista.