My heart goes out to you. It is so difficult to change our communication patterns, but if you have identified what it is that you need to work on then. that's the first step in the right direction.

You are so good with your words. Write it down first and when you are calm and collected, you can read off your script to let them know how you feel. Detach the anger from it.

I'm trying really hard to open my mouth and let my voice be heard. I write it down and rehearse it in my head before I actually talk to the person. It has helped. It's not easy, but it's possible.