Member-only story
My One (Secret) Wish for 2023
Longing for some support and acceptance.
If I were to wish for one thing to happen in 2023, it would be that my mother would be accepting and supportive of me and the decisions I make in my life.
Why wouldn’t she be? After all, I am happy and my happiness should carry some weight in encouraging me to pursue my goals and aspirations.
Negative.
To understand my relationship with my mother, I will have to jog back in time.
I was 17 years old and living with my mother. My father was away on one of his long sailing assignments. My brother had just moved to the US to pursue his graduate studies.
It was as if somebody had died. My mother went into a depressive, mourning phase. She had put so much stock into her son being the sole reason for her existence, she couldn’t bear life without him.
From my point of view, this would have been the perfect opportunity for me to get closer to my mother now that it was just the two of us. I longed for her affection, for her to tell me I mattered, and if it wasn’t asking for too much maybe even a warm hug.
I didn’t know a lot back then. I was just in survival mode, doing things for myself and my mother to keep it going.
