OMG, Mae! I will have to look up The Power and Control Wheel to understand that there is such a label to this kind of behavior. Your story resonates with me. I got out of the marriage, but so many similarities that point to abuse and narcisstic manipulation. I was told I have a Ph. D. in silence because I couldn't string two sentences in front of him. My wasband was a bully too. I am glad you have recognized him after all these years.