Our stories are similar in staying in the marriage for two decades. I took it past expiration for giving the kids a stable home and pulled the plug on separation and eventual divorce when they were 13 and 16. I didn't have 50-50, because I always carried the load of the household and children despite working full time. I settled for a 90-10 which continues as kids got older.

Your advice is good about courage, compassion, and honestly. Only the person in the situation knows when it is a good time to leave - there is no good time, but we make do with what we have.