Some of it sounds familiar. In hindsight our couple therapist wasn’t as helpful. I do believe we each needed to go to individual counseling to do some inner work. My wasband refused to take any accountability and 5 years after we first tried couples therapy, I asked for a divorce. The writing was on the wall all along, I just didn’t see it until it was way past expiration. If you have love for each other, I hope you find a way to work it out.