Teri - I had something similar. My dad was there less than 25% of my life until I left home at 21. I think you are onto something here. I didn't want an absent husband and father and I ended up marrying a man who was absent. After two decades, I freed myself from that relationship, but I am not sure if I want to live with someone 24/7. Like you said, maybe there is some comfort in this long distance, keep your distance, way of living as a way to protect ourselves.