Thank you for sharing your story. I wasn't familiar with a controlled separation. The key to your successful reconciliation is, without a doubt, the work that both of you put towards inner growth independently and together. I was the one who initiated a separation after many years of asking my wasband to seek therapy. It wasn't until after our separation that he found the need to seek counsel. Never in that time did he ever fight for our marriage or ask to work things out. In many ways, we both gave up and ended in divorce after two years of separation. I think it was time for me to let go and it was a good decision at the end of 20 years. But it doesn't take away from the sadness of the outcome and the loss of it all.