There's so much of your story that I can relate to. I too realized that I was carrying the "mother wound." Kudos to you for confronting her about it. There is no changing my mother who is 77 years. I didn't bother doing that. Instead, I just have her at a distance, removed any expectations of receiving her love/ support/ acceptance and check-in on her every once in a while. By being a better mother to my children, I am trying to heal the inner child that craves the love and affection. That's the best I can do in this life.