This is one of the best messages that sums up what I did for self-preservation when I asked for a separation and then divorce. My wasband asked if we could be friends but despite having joint custody of the kids, I needed a somewhat clean break. I completely disengaged except for logistics with kids. I do think it has helped me heal. His presence was too toxic and I needed to distance myself from him "neediness." Thank you for affirming what I did. I didn't know the science behind it, but I am glad I went with my gut.