Troy, the good news here are that you are self-aware and that you have already started on a plan to recovery (meds + therapy) which is the way for you to arise above this state of mind you are currently in. Write motivational notes around the house and everywhere that will be a constant reminder for you to stick with the plan. Talk to your wife and have open lines of communication about how you feel and how you are trying hard. It can't be easy on her as well. Hang in there and can do this!